Saturday, December 22, 2012

Home for Christmas

As soon as I pack my trusty orange backpack and maybe change out of my pajamas I will be Missouri bound for Christmas! It is going to be a short trip, a very short trip (back to work on the 26!) and I am already preparing myself for my plane to be delayed, but I will be home. 

To be honest, I am already pretty anxiety filled about my first Christmas without my dad. As I was deleting pictures off of my camera before my Italy trip, I found some pictures from last Christmas, and my dad. And even though I know I have them saved on my computer and various back up devices, I couldn't delete them. You know how when in Back to the Future, people start disappearing out of photographs and it is because they never existed?  My head kind of works  like that these days. Wow, random movie reference. 

 It's just hard knowing that there will be a painfully empty space around the Christmas tree come Christmas morning.  My mom, sister and I have decided to keep a lot our family Christmas traditions, even the silly ones. Most of my soul is pretty wild and willy nilly, but there is also part of me that finds great comfort in traditions, and rituals, and familiarity. So we are still going out to dinner at our favorite BBQ joint where I always, always order the same thing, still going to see a Christmas light display in a local park where I hope they still have my favorite display that our family has nicknamed "the vomiting cloud",  we are still going do some ridiculously complicated holiday baking  (we're attempting French macarons this year!), my sister and I will still stay up very late watching reality shows with our own snarky commentary, but most important we will be together. AND my mom has already told me that their local church carolers have already been by. Phew. I find people singing at my door one of the most awkward holiday things ever. I mean, do you tip them?  Smile nicely as you so slowly close the door as they sing? Invite them in for hot chocolate? Grab your tambourine and join in? 

I am trying to fit in one last Christmas music marathon as I pack and found this little tune from The Family Crest to be quite perfect:

You can download 'Home for Christmas" for free on their bandcamp page

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