Saturday, November 10, 2012

Early Mornings

I don't talk about my day job on this here blog. There are many parts to that puzzle, but what it boils down to is freedom, or as Braveheart would say, FREEEEDOM. I started this blog to have a creative outlet, to have something of my own, something to keep me afloat when I felt like I was drowning in other aspects of my life. But work creeps in on this space every now and then. Like now. Blame the lack of posting, and while we are playing the blame game, blame that lack of anything else in my life, on work.  Sad but true. I even had to skip a concert , one I even had a ticket to, this week to get a project done. Sadder, but also true. Who am I anymore? But this week did have little saving graces too. Finally, finally, I felt this week that this job is indeed what I was meant to do at this time and place in the universe. The last four and half years haven't been a waste of my life. Phew. But with this understanding also came a thumbs up that it is OK to leave when my job ends at the end of the year.  Phew. 

Another saving grace has been early morning trains. The first train of the day leaves my home station around 5am, getting me into my office around 6, giving me a couple of quiet and extremely productive hours before the tornado of staff and emails and meetings comes roaring in.  Trains at 5am are different than trains at 8am. At 5am, the mass of humanity hasn't made it to the stations, crowding the seats and rows and jamming the doors. At 5am there are no tourists or interns, two groups which I am grateful for their contributions to our fine city, but who do not know the meaning of  "walk at a brisk pace."   At 5am there is no one jiving and gabbing on their phones; who are earth would you be calling at that undead hour? Us, early trainers, are different bunch,  still a little sleepy, bundled snug in our coats and gloves, sitting a little slumped, our heavy heads leaning up against the windows. 

And when I emerge from the underground in those early morning hours, the city is quiet, even the sun is still struggling to wake up.
At the crosswalks there is not yet the cloud of anxiety of being late to all of our very important places. There is no rush, no crowds all wearing the same exact black suit. 

The lamp posts  are still on, tempting us to skip work and spend the day in Narnia.

There is a special feeling in the city in those early morning hours. There are also lovely two tone leaves.
Maybe I am turning into a morning person.

(I think I might of just choked a little bit on those words)

1 comment :

  1. I'm sorry your life has been so work-controlled of late but I'm glad you've been able to get some clarity. And I'm more glad that you're packing up to go to Italy (don't forget to drink some hot chocolate!) Btw, when you decide to skip work for Narnia, can I come?