Sunday, May 13, 2012

One Week Later

For the record, the last song I sang to my dad was Amazing Grace, not a Beastie Boys song.

My dad passed away a week ago yesterday. May 5th will never be a day of celebration for me, sorry Mexico. 

It's been hard trying to write about my life lately. The fact is, the last couple weeks have been some of the hardest times of my life, no, make that the absolute hardest time of my life, but also some of the most meaningful times too. I'm trying, but written words seem too hard right now, I'm ok talking about it, it helps with the healing and it is now a part of who I am, but it is something about the finality of the written word that just makes it hard. I return to DC tomorrow with the new label as the "girl whose father just died." My life, my outlook, my priorities are completely different than they were just a couple of  months ago. It's all about finding out what my new normal is.

I asked my mom last night when I can start doing happy things again. I am so naive about mourning protocol. We decided that my dad won't want us to go around in sackcloth and ashes. The best way to remember and honor my dad is to live a happy life. He will always be in every corny joke I tell. He will always be around whenever I go to the UK and retrace the footprints our ancestors. He will always be at every concert I go to with a bag piper and/or banjo player.   He will alway be there. Period. Death may end a mortal life, but it never ends a relationship. My dad will always be my dad. Period. 

I also have the most amazing friends. I am working on answering every email, every FB message, every card. I have read them all. They have made me cry and feel blessed and have meant the world to me. 

1 comment :

  1. Don't worry about protocol, just do what you feel is good for you. Cry when you want and need to, take time to have fun and laugh when you need to. Its all up to you.